For some reason I received samples of Bear Naked Granola‘s two newest granola flavors in the mail. I’ve loved their products in the past, so finding them on my doorstep seemed like a good omen.
The two flavors: blueberry walnut and peanut butter & jelly. Hooray, right? No, because in both cases, the fruit is all wrong. The blueberries are gross, super chewy and strangely fake-tasting despite the “natural” claims (although glycerin is one of the ingredients for the blueberries . . . what do they DO with glycerin?). And I’m always up for good ol’ PB&J, even–no, especially–on Wonder bread, but the Bear Naked version packs neither the flavor of the real McCoy (again, the raspberries have a really strange texture that I couldn’t get past) nor the thrill of eating something that I’m supposed to be too old to eat.
However, the back of the PB&J package did teach me the definition of arachibutyrophobia: it’s the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth (courtesty of the Peanut Advisory Board). I wonder if there’s a word for fear of people putting soy protein isolate in my homemade granola.