Waiterly Conduct

Meyer Lemon Rosemary Tea

It worked. The Meyer lemon and rosemary and honey thing worked, and by noon yesterday, my voice had morphed back to normal, and when I stood up to read, my epithelial muscle bounced happily along my vocal chords; I sounded much more like a normal human being than I had 36 hours before.

Plus, my family was a big help. My mom showed up, flew in from Boise just for the occasion. And my brother left me a useful phone message: Hi. It’s your brother. Just wanted to give you a heads up for your reading tonight. If you go top to bottom and left to right, you should be all set.

Thank goodness he called.

But the highlight of the evening wasn’t standing up in front of a crowd, or wearing my new dress, or tasting how Tom Douglas interpreted courses from the dinner I read about. It was when a woman walked up to me and asked me if I have arthritis.

She seemed a little shy, at first, but her smile was kind. I read in your bio that you write for Arthritis Today, she said. Are you . . . She trailed off, uncertain what she should say next. She introduced herself, telling me she’s done some food writing, and also has rheumatoid arthritis. I told her I have lupus, and suddenly we were long-lost friends, yelling like crazy people about spoon theory, methotrexate, and hair loss, hands flying, voices trilling above the food talk around us. We hugged and promised to start our own support group, and I spent the rest of the night wondering how it had taken me so long to find her. Just last weekend, I finally admitted to myself and my husband that no matter how many people comfort me, support me, encourage me, something about having lupus makes me feel entirely alone. But now. Ahh. I found a buddy. And I don’t even know her last name.

Anyway. Here’s what I read (published over at Leite’s Culinaria), if you’re interested, a piece called Waiterly Conduct. (There’s an audio version, also.) It’s a shortened version of something I posted here in April. Click here for the original (and outrageously long) version.



Filed under media, review, travel

4 responses to “Waiterly Conduct

  1. Jess,

    Loved hearing this last night and have sent this link to my wife who had to miss your reading due to our babysitting emergency. Thanks for posting it!

  2. Pingback: Brain Handles » Blog Archive » Did Someone Say Dessert?

  3. OMG, I don’t think I could’ve gotten through that meal without either falling over laughing, or smacking one of the model-waiters. But your piece? Funny as hell, hence my current hysterical laughter.

    My mother taught me not to play with my food, and not to wave around anything sharp at the dinner table. I’m just sayin’.

  4. Jess
    I thought your article Waiterly Conduct was fantastic-I have not eaten there yet, but when I do, I will think of what you wrote!


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